Saturday, April 08, 2006

He Comes Highly Recommended

There are some World Class candidates running for office in New Orleans for this election season. Taking the ABIEMO approach, New Orleans can end up with a clean slate and some very capable people in a variety of offices.

In other news, I received this expensive-looking piece of mail yesterday from a candidate for assessor in my area.

All I can say is, "Whoa." [I've typed the text below EXACTLY as received (sic) .]

Oyster, all I can say to you is that you left the field wide open for things like this.

So here's the text, verbatim:

My fellow New Orleanian,
Some 25 years ago during a very difficult financial period while selling Real Estate and attending Loyola University I worked part timeat The Academy of the Sacred Heart*. During that brief time an intimate relationship was established and they came to know the real person that I am.

Before leaving a personal letter of recommendation was written. On ther back of this card is a copy for your consideration. Needless to say my love of the Rosary continues to this day and I shall cherish those memories forever.

I am now a candidate for the "open seat" of Assessor Uptown and pledge to you if I am elected that I will work from "the inside" toward "One Assessor" for "One New Orleans."

Thank You and God Bless You.

Sincerely,
[Name of candidate]

*This is not a political endorsement in any manner whatsoever by the Archdiocese of New Orleans or The Academy of the Sacred Heart. The letter of recommendation dated May 12, 1981 on the back of this card is for informational purposes only.

-------------------------------------------------------
(on official Sacred Heart letterhead)

May 12, 1981

To whom it may concern:

I am very happy to recommend [name of candidate]. From the first day he joined us he has become a very important part of our community. Andrew is extremely personable, very reliable and his integrity is beyond reproach. On many occasions parents have complimented Andrew for his genuine concern of the children and for his most warm and pleasant manner.

Andrew is a very bright and personable young man. He will be a success in most any field he tries. His ability to handle the most difficult situations is truly admirable. Andrew's judgement is mature and most sound. He is a man of priniciple and deep moral values. I am very sorry he will be leaving us. He will be sorely missed.

Sincerely,
[Signature of then-headmaster]
Headmaster


5 comments:

scared to leave my real name said...

I had the same reaction. The guy also looks to be one moon pie away from a heart attack, too.

LatinTeacher said...

This is very bizarre in a very bizarre way. I don't know if this is really a comment or just an affirmation of your reaction. i have loads of questions about this.

Big__Shot said...

Whoa, indeed. Go check the "about our candidate" section of his campaign site and you will read a bio that you might believe was written by John Kennedy Toole. For example, there's this passage: "Many times throughout his youth Andrew would encounter those more fortunate and they would flaunt their wealth. Andrew was fond of saying, “I’m a Magician not a Patrician” it would help ease the pain of the continued poverty of his youth.

Anonymous said...

"note that I am not including the candidate's name in the text of my post"

You sure about that?

Mr. Clio said...

Yargh! Thanks for the point! Fixed.