Thursday, October 25, 2007

Source of Bad Karma Found and Removed

The Saints' puzzling start to the season has confused us all. Were these the same guys? Had Aaron Brooks donned a #9 jersey? How could we be so unlucky as to lose Deuce for the year?

A two-game win streak has made us all feel a little better, but I was still feeling not quite comfortable with this team, and I could sense similar feelings in others.

Then, a watershed event early Tuesday made everything clear, and subsequent events have restored order and balance to the Black and Gold Force.

You see, dear reader, little did I know that my own appendix had been storing up bad Saints karma bit by bit over the years. Believe me: this was no noble gesture on my part. It was an involuntary organic process. Like a cosmic sponge, this organ in my abdomen was taking it all in--the kinds of events documented here by moosedenied--the drafting of Erxleben, Lansford's kick in 1983, and so on.

Well, thanks to Dr. Jim Brown at Tulane Lakeside Hospital, problem solved.

Starting late Monday night, my appendix couldn't take it anymore, swelled up like a ballon, and started telling me loud and clear (ouch!) that it needed to come out. At approximately 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday, Dr. Brown took care of business and purged our fair city of all that bad karma. Appendix removed, Clio smiling, all clear. The patient is recovering nicely and is going to work today; the appendix and all that karma are gone.

It is intriguing that the appendix is considered vestigial, but these authors believe that it does in fact serve a purpose:

"Its major importance would appear to be financial support of the surgical profession."
Alfred Sherwood Romer and Thomas S. Parsons
The Vertebrate Body (1986), p. 389.
In any case, we can look forward to good things for this season and beyond.

This week, World Class New Orleans associate Angels and Saints and Bears Oh My will be in da house to see the Saints take on Beerman and the Niners. Expect good things for the Black and Gold. Also, Monster Park can expect strong beer sales in one particular section.


jeffrey said...

Was the appendix wearing black pants?

oyster said...

Excellent news. I'm glad you're doing ok.

Anonymous said...

good job with the appendix

katrina evacuees vs. california wildfire evacuees and the differences in the way they were treated

al sharpton and jesse jackson are gonna be all over this one

your thoughts?

LatinTeacher said...

I had my appendix removed a couple of years ago. It was emergency surgery at 3 AM. It sucked. Glad to hear that you are ok. GO SAINTS!

Chuck Norris said...

When I had mine out, I ate it for breakfast.

Mr. Clio said...

My appendix was, in fact, wearing black pants.

Thanks for the good wishes.

Leigh C. said...

Oh, my goodness! Feel better! I'm glad it came out okay.

Sooo, that last sentence made it sound like a bowel movement...

...but I'm glad it's out.

saintseester said...

Sorry to hear that you had to go under the knife. Glad to hear that all is good now. Save some of those lortabs for the day after the big show.

Anonymous said...

Hey cousin -
Glad that you are on the mend. Had no idea that losing to the Pathetic Panthers (among others) would take such a toll!

Sophmom said...

I'm so sorry! Hope you're feeling better. Don't do too much too soon (the Mom in Sophmom just popped out;).

Brian "Mr. Glitter" Bordelon said...

Hey did you get to keep the appendix? I need it for Halloween.

Glad you got through the surgery ok man. It seems your extra appendage removal has affected your fantasy football decisions, however. Go eat some oysters.

Side note: Mike Andersons in Baton Rouge has served infected oysters here in the last few weeks, resulting in at least one death. I'm off the raw shells until I get to a respectable place to eat, like ACME or your brother's grill on CAMP Street. Miss those days.

Be good. Squeeze a nurse's ass for me.