Saturday, December 01, 2007

How Does the University of Hawaii Ever Lose a Game?

It's late at night on a Saturday night. I'm watching the Rainbow Warriors play the Washington Huskies, and right now the undefeated Hawaii team is down 21-7.

Here's what I can't figure out.

You're a 17-year-old promising high school athlete. You're great. You get visited by the following people:

1. A football coach from Lincoln, Nebraska.
2. A football coach from Columbus, Ohio.
3. A football coach from Los Angeles, California.
4. A football coach from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
5. A football coach from Gainesville, Florida.
6. A football coach from Hawaii.

They all say, "Son, we want you to come and get a university education FOR FREE and play football for us."

Why would you not go to Hawaii?


Chaz said...

Yeah. The only reason I can think of is that players could demand more money as NFL prospects if they come from BCS conferences. That having been said, I'd still go to Hawaii.

Craig said...

Ah, you don't understand the very state you live in. Perhaps a parable can help:

A photographer from Ohio decided to write a book about churches around the country. He began in Seattle and worked east & south from there. Going to a very large Seattle church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He noted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone.

The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.

The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in California, Michigan, Illinois, New York, and all around the United States, he found more phones, with similar signs, and got the same answer from each pastor. The one difference was the price. In Salt Lake City and Minneapolis, it was $7,000. In Denver and St. Louis, it was $5,000. In Austin and Atlanta, it was $1,000.

Finally, he arrived in Louisiana. Upon entering a church in New Orleans, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 25 cents.", as did all the others signs in churches across Louisiana.

Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor of a Baton Rouge church. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church, I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches it cost quite a lot. All the signs in Louisiana read 25 cents a call. Why?"

The pastor, smiling, replied,
"Son, you're in Louisiana now. This is God's country... so it's a local call."