Sunday, May 04, 2008

Shoot Our Way to Safety (with Kids!!!!)

In response to Jarvis DeBerry's op-ed piece, I wrote the following letter to the editors of the T-P:

Jarvis DeBerry does us all a great service by calling attention to Rep. Ernest Wooton's push to allow concealed weapons on college campuses.

My 4-year-old son is a pre-K student at the daycare center on the campus of Loyola University New Orleans.

Rep. Wooton wants to help keep my child and Loyola's college-age students safe by ensuring that we have as many guns on campus as possible.

However, Rep. Wooton's idea does not go far enough. Please, sir, allow us to arm the pre-schoolers! Given the amount of time that many young boys practice playing cops and robbers, they must be excellent shots. As a parent, I would be proud to send my boy to Loyola's campus packing heat for the safety of all.

In addition, the children at the adjacent Holy Name of Jesus Elementary School should be given guns, as should the students at Lusher High School just up the street. The crime statistics for my city make it obvious that what we need are more guns on our streets and campuses.

Loyola's campus was already named by Reader's Digest as one of the safest in the nation. With Rep. Wooton's help--and guns for all--we can all dream of a day when Loyola will be ranked number one.

Mr. Clio


kwilkerson said...

Go wolfpack.

Need a sports announcer, bitches?

dillyberto said...

you magnificent bastard!

Zhan-Bap-teest Lay-Moin day Bee-en-veel said...

Congrats on a safe rock on which to build.

Mick Cornett said...

Build something?

Just buy it.

Mayor Phil said...

Hey, buddy.

Wanna come over to my place?

daneeta loretta said...

This is just about the craziest idea I've heard in a long time. But, after having read this, Patrick says to me: "Do you think we need to get a gun when we move to America." There is a big argument going on in Sweden at the moment as to whether we will be allowed to move to American because of the violence. Mother pressure is being strongly exerted. Folks over here don't have guns. And, I kinda like that. I know knives are dangerous too, but I feel on a more even level with knives than I do with guns. I don't know...let's just get rid of all the guns and live in that hippy beautiful world they promised us on Sesame Street. Or was Mr. Hooper lying too?